by Meghan Brandabur (Gonzaga University)I HAD ALWAYS BEEN FAMILIAR with the stereotypes of Italian society, with the family-style meals and crowded houses with too many family members. What I had not come to know, however, was the role of a woman in the typical Italian family and town. While Cagli may be different from most, being that it is so small, I felt similar sentiments on our trip to Venice as well. While our landlord, Peter, heads off to work each day, his wife, Daniella strolls the cobblestone streets with her son, socializing with every neighbor she meets along the way. This role as caretaker and home-maker, while not unique to Italy, seems especially emphasized here.
Coming from a family of 5 strong-willed and independent German women this set-up didn’t bother me until I was on the other end of the exchange. The night we travelled home from Venice we got onto our train at around 11 p.m.. After a really long day of walking all I wanted to do was put my feet up and relax. Slipping off my sandals and sliding into crisscross sitting position, I eased back to try and rest my eyes. Almost immediately I heard someone moving around loudly. I opened my eyes to an angry, older Italian man swatting at me with the paper and grunting loudly. Realizing he knew I didn’t speak Italian and he couldn’t communicate in English I pieced together what he wanted. He was angry my feet were on the seat. I slowly and sub-consciously lowered my feet. Watching him circle the cabin to swat any other women with their feet up I quickly learned I shouldn’t take his harshness personally. He was obviously an old-fashioned man who thought telling women what was allowed and what was not was perfectly ok and normal. He almost reminded me of my German great-grandfather. Very brash and domineering. I hated it. I felt spiteful and had half a mind, initially, to tell him off for trying to tell me what to do.
I guess in the US I’ve come to take my independence and the respect I feel rightfully owed by every individual I encounter, completely for granted. Note to self: Outside the USA I might have to earn the respect of others rather than expect it.
